A Quote for Today

"Any attempt to bypass our ordinary life to reach God will surely fail. We will only find the union with God that we seek by entering into the ground of the ordinary." -James Finley

I'm a Jerk! Are You?

My sister sent me the link to her rector's blog (http://scottsrott.blogspot.com). I read through and found myself connecting with much of what Scott writes about. A recent entry of his discusses coming out of ourselves; of getting out of the "You're in my way" mentality. He writes about how moment by moment we're challenged to realize our place in humanity, our place in line, our place in life. This is where I connect.

Last week I was on the moped when I found myself having the most awful thoughts about the other drivers. Road rage has never been an issue with me. I'm somewhat arrogant in my ability to wait my turn. But the other day I was thinking murderous thoughts, degrading my fellow human beings into categories and races and statuses (stati?).

As this is all about me, let me tell you what occurred to me about me. I'm a jerk. I don't think I've always been one; but it seems to me that somewhere around my senior year of high school I took a drastic shift into jerkness (jerkhood?) and began criticizing everyone else for their incompetence. You know where this leads. Perhaps you've been or are currently there, too.

So, I'm driving along thinking moment by moment how this guy's a moron and how that girl should never have even gotten on the bike to begin with, because, let's face it, girls are just not as focused and decisive in their driving. Then I realized that all Indonesians, with the very few exceptions of those I happen to like, are uneducated idiots who are more concerned with the status quo than progressing humanity toward something healthy, beautiful, and over all "better." That's about the time that I realized that I'm not only a jerk, but also a bigot and a racist. Like I said, I'm pretty sure I wasn't always this way.

As a "good" Christian, I pray and repent and move on to choosing to think better thoughts and to "take captive" these negative thoughts. But really, I'm still a jerk who's now simply trying to act like I'm not a jerk by controlling mental impulses that have an invisible root. Perhaps my own insecurities, my own feelings of incompetence, some may say that perhaps these thoughts come from some guy with horns and a pitch fork. Whatever. Truth is, they're my thoughts. The thoughts of a jerk. And that jerk is me.

I hope realizing my tendency to be an asshole will in time enable me to have deeper causal realizations. Who knows, maybe I'll be a sweet boy once again . . . in the very distant future.

A New Day to Vote

Presidential elections are scheduled to take place next week on Thursday and Friday. The count will be announced on Easter Sunday. Police have said that this year's election should be much calmer than in previous years as political parties are not allowed to do much more than pass out flyers and hold posters or banners. In years past parades and loud, seemingly inebriated party members would harangue observers for their vote. Voters were often paid for their alligence; the clever voters collecting from several different candidates. But this year, change is expected...

Yesterday I drove by a small rally in Salatiga. While scooting by on my moped, I saw a hand-made poster which read Pilih yang benar. Jangan yang bayar. "Vote for the correct one; not one that pays." The small crowd was chanting as best they could, obviously pushing a particular candidate, but also pushing the idea that a good candidate isn't determined by who pays the most for a vote.

In the midst of my current culture stress, this was a relieving sight. Corruption is no longer the assumed norm for some. There's talk about how a political office is not for sale, and how the holders of such offices are public servants. Human history says that Indonesia still has a couple generations to go for this idea to take root, but progress is being made. Dignity is at least being acknowledged. And for that, I'm proud of this country and her people.